Recently, in the Oklahoma category…

It’s interesting to me that my experience has been quite different from Matt’s. Despite growing up in a town of about sixty (no, I’m not exaggerating, here’s the census data) located in a very rural area, I regularly meet people who know exactly where it is. The conversation usually goes like this:

Them: So, where are you from?

Me: You’ve never heard of it. It’s a little town called Macomb and it’s…

Them: Oh, yeah, I know where that is. My _____ lives/works out there.

My most recent encounter was with a business associate who turned out to be the ex-husband of my high school english teacher. That brought back a flood of memories about high school, friends, and knowing things you’re not supposed to. But I’ll save that for another story.

If you know me at all, you know how much I enjoy the geographically-correlated statistical data. There’s nothing like a comparison between where I live and the rest of the country to put a smile on my face, a song in my heart, and a drop in my property values.

That’s why I’m glad I ran across the ITCH ALERT site — sponsored by Cortaid®, for all your itching needs — which tells me Oklahoma City is the itchiest American city for August. I hear it was a close competition — Dallas made a last-minute bid for first by blocking all shipments of dandruff shampoo from entering the city. In the end, though, we prevailed, thanks in no small part to our abundance of stagnant water/ecologically-protected mosquito habitats.

I’m sure this distinction makes us popular with the Cortaid® people, but it probably just makes all other Oklahoma tourists want to get out of town and take a bath.

Also, I noticed that as I read the site, I kept getting little itches all over. Don’t know if it was psychological or geographical, but it was kind of disturbing.


Live at the Festival of the Arts in downtown Oklahoma City.

You know, I’m not one who is easily discouraged. I’ve always been an OU Football fan, even during the period between Switzer and Stoops (otherwise known as the Dark Ages). I’ve always been a Dallas Cowboys fan, even though there hasn’t been anything to cheer about in a very long time. And, I’ve always been a happy resident of Oklahoma, even when I disagreed with decisions the state was making.

But, man, I’m about ready to move. First, I find out that 1 in 10 Oklahomans is insane. Yeah, I know, no surprise there. Today I learn that Oklahoma ranked 43rd on a list of livable states. 43rd. I think what this means is that for most people, they would be better off living in a port-o-toilet next to a perpetual tire fire than to live in Oklahoma.

Oh well, at least there was one bright spot in the study: No, not the part about the sunny days — the fact that we still get to make fun of Arkansas.

Update: Angela sent me the complete list.