Martha Stewart Serving

Jury selection in the Martha Stewart trial.

Here, for your information and amusement, is how I imagine jury selection went:

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Prosecution:

“Juror #8, have you ever basted a turkey with a honey butter sauce, then cooked it to a golden brown in a 400° oven?”

Juror #8:

“No.”

Prosecution:

“Good, thank you. Juror #13, when was the last time you dusted the top of your refrigerator?”

Juror #13:

“Um… This morning.”

Prosecution:

“I see. Juror #13 is excused.”