No Experience Necessary

Thursday, August 15, 2002

That’s it… as of right now, I’m a corporate accountant. I’m not qualified, but I’m starting to think that doesn’t matter. Pay me a couple of million, and 2 + 2 can be absolutely anything you want. Payments and revenue, debits and credits… they’re all just numbers. And numbers are interchangable!

What gets me about this is, after everything that has happened in the last few months, they still call these things “accounting errors.” That’s right, “Enron lied, WorldCom lied, but not us! We made an accounting error! We can’t tell the difference between payments and revenue! We’re really that dumb!” I’m just so sick of “spin control” I could stay home from work tomorrow. They cheated, everybody knows they cheated, so why not admit it? Just once, I’d like to hear a CEO say, “Sure we knew it was wrong. But, it kept our stock prices up, and we really didn’t think anyone would notice. Boy, are our faces red!”

But seriously, if you’re looking for a corporate accountant, I’m available for tax season, birthdays, and bah mitzvahs. :-)